**Spoiler Alert** This BRILLIANT theory is brought to you by Dr. Alishia Kalos, CST, doctoral psychologist and AASECT certified sex and relationship therapist.

Alishia (fellow members of the Castle Valley Rider’s Quadrant)is one of our readers and a true FW and IF fan. Her theory is spectacular and I have to say, she pretty much convinced me that maybe, there is a good reason why Rebecca Yarros defends Dain fiercely. Her credentials highlight that she really knows what she’s talking about when it comes to Dain’s behavior. I read it over and over again and I cannot believe I haven’t spotted all of this before. Alishia, thank you!

Have a read and let me know your thoughts in the comments section below.

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Like so many fans, I had grown to resent what I had perceived as Dain’s prioritization of the rules of the Codex over just about everything else including his feelings for Violet, Violet’s safety, and her right to consent to access to private memories. After all, Violet made it clear that she resented Dain for these same reasons. However, what if Dain’s seemingly excessive adherence to the rules comes from a place of neurodiversity, such as that of adults with Autism?

Throughout Fourth Wing and Iron Flame, Dain seemed to interpret social situations differently from his peers and was sometimes directly mocked and criticized for it. Like Dain, many adults with Autism prefer the emotional safety and familiarity of small-group interactions with a select few close friends over larger social groups and appear more introverted than extroverted in social settings.

Outside of his friendship with Violet, Dain appeared to socialize predominantly with people who he was assigned to work with (such as his former fellow colleague in leadership, Amber Mavis, and others who occupy leadership roles).

In social settings, Dain would infrequently contribute to general conversation and would speak up most often about strategy, rule-adherence, procedures, etc. Dain appeared skilled in the areas of procedure and policy, and would struggle to adhere to social norms or social code of ethics.

For example, after he stole Violet’s memory (a clear act of betrayal of their friendship and bond of trust based on social norms and code of ethics) Dain appeared hurt and perplexed by Violet’s response to his actions. For example, Dain didn’t seem to grasp the emotional significance of his choice to steal Violet’s memories until after he challenged Violet to spar on the mat, and she explained it to him.

Dain, like many neurodiverse adults with traits of Autism, excelled when it came to attention to detail and hyperfocus in his executive leadership roles. He was able to devote himself completely to his leadership roles without getting distracted by social and recreational activities. That said, he also repeatedly struggled to emotionally connect to or inspire the people he led. Furthermore, Dain appeared to rely on rules and logic to inform his perceptions of others more than emotional influences.

For instance, he experienced an emotional bond with both Violet and Amber Mavis, but trusted Amber on instinct based on Amber’s history of Codex-adherent choices and her role as a Wingleader (which, logic and rules dictate, would make her especially trustworthy). He had been quick to consider practical points for battle strategy and planning, without considering possibilities that could be emotionally driven or informed by the impulses of imperfect leadership (such as the option to send undertrained third years to fight in direct combat). Similarly, Dain repeatedly expressed that he valued practical, logical or procedurally “correct” choices over emotionally informed choices.

For example, he confessed to Violet that he would adhere to the rules of the codex rather than intervene against the rules to save Violet’s life and that he would adhere to norms of leadership rather than pursue the intimate relationship with her that he desired.

Is it possible that what Violet, Dain’s peers, and readers interpreted in Dain as callousness and lack of empathy was actually about differences in neurological processing? As a final point, consider the reasons that Dain stated for disclosing Violet’s memory of Xaden in Athebyne to his father. It was easy to assume that Dain, suspicious and jealous of Xaden, jumped on the opportunity to get Xaden in trouble for doing things he wasn’t supposed to do. However, during the sparring match with Violet in Iron Flame, Dain revealed that it was Bohdi’s rule-breaking behavior, not his feelings toward Xaden, that inspired him to tell his father. To the contrary, it was Colonel Aetos’ suspicion of Xaden and general disdain for the Marked Ones that inspired him to set the trap that ultimately led to the deaths of Liam, Deigh, Soleil and Fuil. Colonel Aetos’ motivations were emotionally driven, whereas Dain’s were rule-driven.

In the context of their childhood friendship, Dain and Violet shared much in common. Their bond was strengthened by the time they spent together and the fact that their parents worked closely with each other. However, life changes drastically for those who enter the Rider’s Quadrant. Dain described that the Rider’s Quadrant “cuts away the bullshit and the niceties, revealing whoever you are at your core.”

During Dain’s first year when he was faced with the daily threat of death and the threat of danger from missing or misunderstanding social cues, he came to rely on the safety, dependability, and structure of the rules of the Codex. He took it upon himself to encourage rule-adherence by his peers, rose in rank, and became a stronger champion of the rules in the process. Perhaps his signet was also born from this same core value of rules above relationships, and his need to monitor and enforce rule-adherence of those around him.

While Dain’s choices to view and disclose memories without the consent of those he takes them from are objectively wrong by social code of ethics, his signet proved to be an effective tool for his personal use and an invaluable asset for leadership of Navarre.